A4

by Paul Merrigan
This Week Staff

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Speak Up

Many parents are quite nervous sending their children off to school for the very first time.

The start of the school years marks the beginning of a parents diminished role in their child's life, as friends, teachers and other people begin to influence them on a more regular basis.

This isn't to say that parents do not still hold the most important role, but it certainly takes more time and dedication to stay on top of what occurs with your children outside of your home and away from your watchful eyes.

Like most situations involving stress, it is the unknown that concerns us.

Will our child make friends? What if they're bullied? What if they don't like their teacher? These and other questions enter the minds of most of us at one point or another.

In most cases, many of these fears are unfounded, but there are situations and circumstances where our children do have difficulties at school - either socially, academically or otherwise. In those cases, it is vital for a parent not only to become as involved as possible, but to do so in a positive and constructive manner.

In order to become an effective advocate for you child or children within the school system, there are several things that are important for parents to consider.

First and foremost is that advocating for your child is likely something that is going to take a considerable amount of time, especially in the beginning.

Researching the system that you are working within, learning about the issues surrounding your child and meetings are all going to take time, but this time is really an investment for your child, and will ultimately be worth it.

As mentioned, a great deal of time and effort will be spent in getting informed. If your child has a learning disability, seek out as much information as possible.

Make a list of questions that you would like answered and start with your child's teachers and the school's special education teachers or specialists.

If they cannot answer your question, they may have suggestions for resources that you find useful.

As well, familiarize yourself with the district or provincial rules and regulations regarding learning disabilities to see what your child's rights are and what options and resources are available.

If you come across information you don't understand, then you must ask question after question until you feel comfortable enough with what you are reading.

It is also important to have a collaborative approach with the school and teachers as opposed to an adversarial approach.

Looking for team members, rather than opponents, will help you feel as though you are all working towards a common goal - which ultimately you are, the education and well-being of your child.

Sharing of information in both directions and an open and well used line of communications with all team members is vital.

It is important that you recognize what is being done right, as well as what needs change.

Time spent arguing about problems rather than working towards solutions is time wasted.

Keep accurate records of meeting and all paperwork from the schools regarding your child.

Also, nobody knows your child as well as you do. It is important that you are open and honest about your child's strengths and challenges with all of the professionals involved.

If these people are participating in the support and programming of your child, then you want them to be well informed and have accurate information on which to make decisions.

Finally, it is also important to encourage your child to become their own advocate as early as possible.

Teach them ways to communicate their own strengths and needs and make sure to build their self-esteem and confidence early on.

By being positive with your child and supporting them, you give them the power they need to be successful within the classroom and outside in the world.

* Paul Merrigan is a certified private personal counsellor and stay-at-home dad to two boys. He holds a M.Ed. in Counselling Psychology. To contact him or ask a parenting question for a future column, email paulmerrigan@hotmail.com or call 364-7401.