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Last week I got a bit of a heart-breaking e-mail from a Riverview reader who expressed her distress at "missing the signs" when an elderly person in her family wasn't eating right and compromised her health as a result.

She described the situation as she later discovered it.

"Case in point -- two slices of toast for breakfast (totally carbohydrates, no protein) together with a cup of tea or coffee (diuretic). Then because it's a bother, they don't eat lunch. Later in the day, against because it's the pits to make a meal for one, they have more toast, something 'light" so as not to feel full all evening, and then that's it for the day."

Next thing, the senior in question felt faint. Then comes falling, and breaking bones.

"Can you write something about this for people who have senior parents and relatives and miss the signs?" she asked. She said she wished she had realized that it is a "sign" if you arrive at the house at different times of the day, and never notice the smell of food having been cooked, or see an elderly person losing weight without a logical explanation.

She even asked if people were aware of businesses in our Metro Moncton community like Y r U Cooking on St. George Street, not to plug them as such, but to remind people they exist and they do fill a gap in the market.

I was touched by the letter, and it isn't the first of its kind. Many older people have trouble eating well. While the reader has outlined a couple of signs to look for, I would also add to check the fridge and cupboards.

See if there is food in the house, check the expiry date on the milk, look to see if there are stacks of cans in a cupboard - but note if your senior has arthritic hands and whether they can open them.

If you bring a meal with you to share (and that is the absolutely best way to watch what your senior is eating), make sure you bring enough for a couple more meals and the containers to safely store them in the fridge.

Talk to the senior in your life about their eating habits. Remember that there is a potential solution for most of the common problems that plague older eaters.

For example, if they are having trouble chewing, switch the fresh fruit in their diet to fruit juices and soft canned fruits like applesauce, peaches and pears. Switch the raw vegetables to vegetable juices and creamed or mashed cooked vegetables.

Serve ground meat, eggs, milk, cheese and yogurt if meat has become too hard to chew. Serve pudding and cream soups. Instead of sliced bread, the senior might find it easier to eat cooked oatmeal, bread pudding, and soft cookies.

Many seniors are also bothered by upset stomach and gas that causes them to avoid certain foods that are good for them, but leave them uncomfortable. Trouble is, many of those foods are high in vitamins, calcium, fibre and protein.

Substitute a glass of milk for yogurt or cream soup or cottage cheese. Substitute cabbage or broccoli, both gaseous, for green beans, carrots and potatoes. Substitute fresh fruit like bananas for soft canned fruits.

Just getting groceries may be the biggest problem for some seniors. Some stores will gather a list together for customers and deliver, while many churches in the area also have volunteers to do such a service.

The best thing you can do if you are the caregiver for this senior is to either take them with you when you go grocery shopping, or pick up their list for them. If finances aren't a problem, there are home health workers who will also do grocery shopping as part of their work.

If cooking is a problem, use a microwave oven to heat up frozen dinners and foods cooked right at the store. If your senior is in a residence, encourage them to take the meal plan so this is one less thing to worry about.

Sometimes seniors just loose their appetites. Eating alone a lot is a very lonely exercise. Medicines can also make once favourite foods taste different and even unpleasant. Seniors can sometimes increase the flavour of their food to counter this by adding spices and herbs. Eating with friends or family is also a great support.

Sadly, another reason for poor eating habits for seniors in our region is lack of money. In this case, help the senior in your life watch for the sales, purchase store-brands which cost less than national brands, and look for supported meals in your area.

I don't think there is a senior alive who wants your pity when you visit them, so as long as they have any gumption left at all, they will pretend that everything is all right. But be a good detective, and take these precautionary steps to check and see how your aging parents are really eating.

n Jim Levine's column discusses seniors and their lifestyles, looking at traditional and non-traditional issues that dominate our discussions about the care and comfort of the older members of our society in New Brunswick. Please send any comments or suggestions about life out of the fast lane to Jim at thisweek@brunswicknews.com.